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1. Having to unsubscribe from store emails because the temptation is just too great.
Oh, another 30% off sale?? GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN
2. Staying in seven nights in a row to justify ordering those things that have been sitting in your online cart for days.
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Something coming in the mail = the best feeling.
3. Deciding it’s “practical” to buy that shirt in four colors so you can meet the free shipping minimum.
It’s actually saving money this way.
4. You justify your habit by telling everyone you could have MUCH worse ones.
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I mean, clothing is necessary.
5. Your first thought each time you see that paycheck deposit:
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6. Treating yourself to online shopping each time you get broken up with. Or have a bad date. Or a bad day.
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Or really anything.
7. Feeling like it’s your birthday every time a fresh, unopened paper packet or box arrives in the mail.
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Even though you know what’s inside it.
8. Wanting the gorgeous, designer, celebrity-worn version of something and having to settle for the knockoff.
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SOMEDAY, you. Someday.
9. Spending hours piecing together outfits you can Pretty Woman someone in.
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THIS will be the look that changes ~everything~.
10. You’ve memorized the dates of all your favorite stores’ online sales.
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You don’t even have to go anywhere for Black Friday anymore.
11. That feeling when there’s something you’re waiting to buy and you’re afraid it’ll sell out in time and it takes over your life.
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Just … make it … til the sale … starts Friday.
12. Trying to decide which size you should be based off the very tiny bodies you see wearing the clothes on the site.
“Model is 6’7” and wearing an XS.”
13. The adrenaline rush in ordering a pair of shoes online, getting them, and finding out they (miraculously!) fit.
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Medium-low risk, high reward.
14. Getting something in the mail you don’t recognize and don’t fully remember ordering.
Someone was online shopping drunk again.
15. Realizing you buy a lot of stuff for someone who mostly sits home and buys stuff.
When you do go out/learn to cook/go camping, though, BOY will you be ready.
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