1. You have to fight the temptation to repeatedly text friends when you arrive somewhere before them.
“Where the hell are you?!”
2. So you end up lying to your chronically late friends so they’ll ACTUALLY show up on time.
“Yeah the reservation is for 8.”
It’s actually for 8:30, because you know that’s when they are going there anyway.
3. You get to job interviews 45 minutes ahead of time and just sit in the car because you don’t want to arrive too early.
“I’ll just wait here for a little while.”
4. You routinely call your boss to tell them you might be late and you show up early anyway.
You: Erin, this is Paula, I might be running about 10 minutes late.
Erin: Don’t worry about it, just get here safely!
You: (Walks in 10 minutes early)
Erin: Wait, I thought you were running late?
You: Well, I’m here 10 minutes early instead of 15, so I am technically late.
5. You get frustrated with people who take forever to get ready because they can potentially make you late as well.
“You said you would be ready in five minutes 15 minutes ago.”
6. And nothing makes you more anxious than having an S.O. who’s chronically late.
Unpunctual doesn’t always mean unlovable.
7. When you get to restaurants before everyone else, you act like you’re busy on your phone.
Server: Are you sure this is a party of five?
You: Yes, my friends are on their way.
(Let me just pretend I’m texting so the server won’t totally think I’m here by myself.)
8. And when you’re waiting, every minute feels like an eternity.
Even if it’s actually only been three minutes.
9. Then you lie when the rest of your party arrives and asks you, “How long have you been waiting for?”
“Oh, just two minutes.” After you’ve been checking your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tinder for the past 30 minutes.
10. You sometimes annoy people when you say you’re coming over because they’re not ready for you.
“Damnit, I wasn’t expecting people for another 45 minutes.”
11. You automatically connect with other people who are as punctual as you are.
Friends that arrive together thrive together.
12. Since you’re ALWAYS early, you make the people around you more punctual.
Whether they like it or not.
13. You get to places so early that you walk around for a little bit so it makes it seem like when you walked in you just arrived.
Even though you’ve already circled the block four times.
14. Stress dreams usually consist of you not showing up somewhere on time.
More like nightmares.
15. You always tell yourself, “If they don’t show up at this time, then I’m leaving.” But you never do.
“I swear this is the last time I’m waiting for you.”
16. You feel sooo bad when you arrive “on time,” because to you that means you’re tardy.
17. And you completely lose your shit when you actually show up to something late.
“Better late than never” is not OK!
18. Because of course you live and die by the mantra “If you’re on time YOU’RE LATE!”
If you’re 15 minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. And if you’re actually late, you’re dead.
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